i have always tot that friendship should be based on trust and i have always been one who trust his friends and would do things for his friends. But recently all i see is deceptioon and lies. Where cant everything be just more simplier?
really disappointed that she lied to me.. after all this while i thought she would at least be truthful to me about it.. It's not the first time i have been heartbroken by tat ger... When she got attached to junjie tat time i was also chasing her. Although she say tat she dunno about it. but actually Mandy had already told her about it a long time ago... There are so many instances where she chose not to be too honest with me. I have always turned a blind eye but cos i think sometimes when you care too much for someone you forgive them for doing something that you dun like... Still i am very disappointed that she lied to me when i asked her if she was attached to lawrance. DO I LOOK LIKE I M BLIND TO YOU?? i am really really heartbroken... it's not the fact taht she choose him over me.. it's the fact that she lied to me that she does not wan to go into relationship.
okay it's also the fact that someone can win over her heart after knowing her for 3 weeks. managed to get her to overcome her committment phobia if she ever had such things. I have been trying to give her time to slowly slowly accept me as the man for her but i guess i am juz not match for the 3 weeks guy... i have never been good with words but i have always thought tat sometimes actions speaks louder than words. I have alwasy tried to make her happy in ways tat i can but i guess it's not enough....
Y did u tell me that you are attached? y muz u lie to me when i questioned you. this is not what someone does to the person that they care about. Maybe in the end i am just a piece of shit to you. A person who has been irritating you for about a yr now... all teh feelings inside me is unbearable... really feel like dying now...
IF u have told me that you realised that you like this guy a lot and you got attached to him, i would have wished you all the best and still be your friend... now i dunno... i really dunno.... all i wanted was for you to be happy and yet yet yet.. in the end i am still not worth the effort for u to be truthful to me about it...
yet y do i still like you that much? really wanted you to be the one for me till the day i stop existing in this world. really wan to give u the world and let u be the happiest woman in the world. i dunno if i will ever find someone that i will really wan to do that...
i really wan to hate u but i juz cant... i juz know that my heart is shattered into bits by u ... it's incapable of accepting anyone but you but now i dunno if it's even there in the first place... my heart lay dying...
i really wan to be jue and say taht i dun ever wanna be ur fren anymore that if i can trust u now then i cant rely on u next time. if there exist no trust how can i ever rely on you? but i juz cant cant cant bring myself to do it... i still long to be by ur side even after all the hurt u inflicted consciously and non consciously to me throughout this period tat i know you...
i will try to curb this emotion that i have for you if that's wat u really wan.. to be with taht 3 week guy and i just hope that he will not be another junjie... I am really really weary now... i dun know if i will ever put in so much feelings into a ger anymore....
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